How to Have Tough Conversations With Clients
Original photography posted at Unsplash by LinkedIn Sales Solutions.
Original article posted at Architectural Digest by LuAnn Nigara.
We say all the time at Window Works and at A Well-Designed Business podcast that so much of our success is a direct result of the relationships we have built. As a designer, you’ve got tons of relationships too: clients, vendors, employers, partners, contractors. Each of those is a relationship that, just like a relationship with a spouse, has to be intentionally cultivated and improved. And, just like with a spouse, things are not always perfect. There are times when conflict happens. How you handle these situations defines you as a leader.
Tackling the Tough Conversations
There’s something to be said for letting things go that need to be let go. But sometimes, you have to address the problem: A vendor messes up big time and now you have to handle the client and have a conversation with the vendor. Or an employee does something out of turn that causes havoc. You want to preserve both the relationship with your staffer and any client relationships that are affected.
When your integrity and your name as a business owner are on the line, you have to step up to the plate and handle the difficult conversation, no matter how much you fear it, no matter how unsure it makes you feel, and no matter how much you wish it would just go away.
Making the Tough Conversation Less Tough
Face the problem: Avoid email and text. Have these discussions in-person if you can, and if not, over the phone.
Logic over emotions: When challenging situations arise, it’s time to use your mind, not your heart. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. Stay rational and clear.
Empathize and find common ground: We all make mistakes. Find a way to empathize with the person you’re dealing with. Try to understand their thoughts, feelings, and motivations. Find areas, no matter how small, where you can agree.
Look for a win/win: Search for a solution that lets the other party save face, even if they made the error. Take this as an opportunity to preserve and strengthen the relationship.
Establish your nonnegotiables: Before you have a hard conversation, clearly establish for yourself, your needs, your objectives, and your nonnegotiables.
Ask open-ended questions: Yes/no questions close the door. Open-ended questions let you get a glimpse into their motives. Having an idea of their motives gives you ideas for the solutions.
Talk less, listen more: Listen more than you speak—good advice for any relationship you have!
Use real-life examples: Lean on real-life examples to show how you have solved similar problems in the past and how those lessons can be applied. Show your track record for collaboration.
Stay respectful: Even if the other party handles themselves poorly, choose to speak with integrity and respect.
Ask for their ideal solution. I find that people don’t want to ask the other party for their solution. But it’s honestly one of the best things you can do. Just because you ask the question doesn’t mean you have to agree to their solution. The answer will shed light on the heart of the problem and get you closer to a solution. (Plus, you’d be surprised how often I have found that when I heard the other parties’ solution, I was able to meet it. “No problem, I am happy to do this for you.” Conflict resolved. You’ll never know if you don’t ask!)
Clarify what you heard them say by summarizing it and repeating it back to them. It’s easy to misinterpret someone’s words when emotions are heightened. Ask them if you have heard them correctly and if they are confident you understand their needs/problem/request.
It’s okay to give yourself time. You don’t always have to reach a solution in the first meeting. If you need time to think, to reevaluate, or gather more information, just say so. Thank them, and plan a follow-up time.
Paint the picture of your ideal solution. Make sure you include some agreements to what they want. Be clear about your nonnegotiables. They might agree to your solution, or this might be just another step in the process.
Wrap it up with progress. Make sure everyone is happy with the solution. Ask them if they can see that you have been willing to work with them. Summarize the solution again and make a specific action plan to make it happen.
Leaders Lead
Tough conversations are tough for a reason. Nobody wants to be in these situations. But when you are a leader, you have to set the example. You have to step it up and have the hard conversations. Putting them off will only cause more problems later.
A guest on my podcast, Lee Cockerell, said better than anyone I’ve ever met: “When you only do the easy things, everything else gets harder, but when you do the hard things, everything else gets easier.” Sit with these words, they are true for most any area of your life and your business.